dustpelt:

“and you will have to present it in front of the class”

image

  • me: time for bed
  • stomach: LET'S EAT 15 CHEESEBURGERS WITH ICE CREAM CAKE AND POTATO CHIPS WITH AN ENTIRE TACO BELL ON THE SIDE
  • brain: HEY REMEMBER ALL THOSE WORRIES, IDEAS, ASPIRATIONS AND OTHER ANXIOUS THOUGHTS WELL NOW YOU DO
  • muscles: I HURT FOR AN UNEXPLAINED REASON LIKE ARE YOU GROWING DO YOU HAVE A DISEASE LOL IDK HELP
  • skin: LET'S PLAY A GAME CALLED ARE YOU ITCHY OR DID A SPIDER EGG SACK JUST BIRTH ON YOU
  • ears: THERE'S A JET PLANE 500 MILES AWAY ALSO I THINK THE NEIGHBOR IS VACUUMING
  • eyes: WOW EVER NOTICE HOW IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY INTO PITCH BLACKNESS YOU CAN ALMOST SEE YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE
  • mouth: IT'S DEATH VALLEY UP IN HERE
  • body: HAVE FUN TOSSING AND TURNING FOR THE NEXT 2 HOURS
  • me: ok
310 plays

awkward-with-the-side-of-sexual:

i love it when people compliment my hair like thank you i grew it myself.

(Source: scaredpotter)

babeobaggins:

I’m still so mad a nigga on a razor scooter truly looked me dead in the face and said “I eat ass” to me while I was walking down the street